The Riffing Academy Syllabus
mumi
riffingacademy
From the desk of the Riffing Academy Headmaster:

It's occurred to me that I'm making a pretty sizable series already in the Riffing Academy, and this merits making a nice index page to put everything on so anyone who is only glancing at the Academy's page can swiftly snap to a fanfiction riffing.

First, for newcomers, welcome to the Riffing Academy. For those who do not know, the Academy is a blog devoted to fanfiction riffings, or MSTings. These are where one takes a bad fanfiction or something similar and makes fun of it with snarky, silly comments. I do a lot of these and I use the Academy to publish my work, which I have cultivated and attempted to hone over several years.

My method is partly-preplanned and mostly-improvised: while I do my homework to make sure the fics are riffable (not entirely incomprehensible, not entirely reprehensible, easy joke setups) I like to think I'm reading the fanfiction with the riffers. This way gags come quickly and the riffers don't look like they all read ahead like I did.

I use many original and fancharacters in order to make fun of the fics, and the Academy's loose canon is based around a direct descendant of the MST3K plot: the Deep 13 and Pearl Forrester experiments gave way to an all-volunteer school in a gigantic space station called the Satellite of Love: The Sequel, orbiting a terraformed Mars.

...in case you haven't figured it out by now, yes, I'm an enormous sci-fi freak.

Anyway, I'm prattling on and I'm probably boring you, the readers. All three of you.

So, with that in mind, let me direct you to the riffings, presented in chronological order from earliest to most recent.

Assignment I: Chobits Double Feature
Assignment II: Nameless Planetarian Lemon Re-MST-ered
Assignment III: Minoru Double Feature
Assignment IV: Chobits Cliche Drinking Game
Assignment V: DID WARS Re-MST-ered (Comic Adaptation)
Assignment VI: Oh My Goddess Knight!
Assignments VII and VIII: Knights of the Old Code: The Complete Anthology
Assignment IX: My Inner Life
Assignment X: Velma Dinkley Goes To Hell
Assignment XI: Ah! My Goddess Medley
Assignment XII: Ah! My Goddess! Goddess Up Above! The Tv series
Assignment XIII: Celebrian Re-MST-ered

This is the state of the Academy thus far. Other projects will always present themselves, and I always prowl the net for more viable riffing material. I'm a hardcore MSTie at heart: I know crap is out there, and I cannot-will not-let it slip through the internet's collective fingers. Crap like this exists; that's the long and short of it. And as long as it's out there, the Riffing Academy will be here to try to make it readable.

As the motto of the Academy reads, "Ex Malis Litteris, Comoedia:" Out of Bad Literature, Comedy.

Assignment 13: Celebrian Re-MST-er Pt. II
mumi
riffingacademy
The second part of Celebrian continues a trend which made this fic infamous: not only does it try as hard as possible to be offensive, but it delays and attempts to avoid the sex that makes it so bad in the first place as hard as it possibly can.
 
Let's see what else it can delay throwing at us.

Again: not a fic for small children or big babies!
 
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Reasonably sure this is sex...Collapse )
 
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So the second part gave us oral. It delayed as hard as it could, but it finally coughed up a sex scene in this supposed sex fic.
 
Oh, if only that were the end of it…
 
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Assignment 13: Celebrian Re-MST-er Pt. I
mumi
riffingacademy
So much has changed since I first wrote the first part of a riffing of legendarily disgusting trollfic Celebrian that I decided it would be far better for me to start anew and write a new Celebrian riffing. So, it's now time for the third Re-MST-ering of a riffing I've done but never published.
 
This is one of those legendary pieces of badfic that needs no introduction. Celebrian simply IS, it's not one of those things that has any kind of explanation behind it. It's there, it sucks, it's there because it sucks and it sucks because it's there. However, all the bad writing and characterization, purple prose and sheer grossness make Celebrian riffable.
 
Annotations, as always, are in brackets to point out any more obscure references or just provide some riffer commentary. I feel it necessary to bring with me a warning, though:
 
This is an overly long fanfic full of really icky sex, and that means there are going to be some really, really vulgar riffs in here. As usual, little children and really big babies need not apply when reading this thing. I'll repeat that again: approach this thing at your own risk!
 
Riffing Team
 
Maurice "Airrider" Delmar
Silky Moonspinner Delmar
Alex Marklan
Nithilian (DAMSEL 249)
 
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So this is foreplay, huh?Collapse )
 
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This is as good a point as any to end the first part of this riffing. Next time we'll check out several more pages of really, really vapid not-sex.
 
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Celebrian Re-MST-er
mumi
riffingacademy
Unlucky thirteen is a fic that needs no introduction. So terrible is this Lord of the Rings fic, that has only been riffed a few times before by other MSTers, that mentioning it by name is avoided wherever possible.

I'll just leave the chapters here and let you experience a redo of one of the very first large riffing projects I ever took on.

Assignment 12: Goddess Up Above Chapter 1 Pt I
mumi
riffingacademy
Ladies and gentlemen, you're about to see what could quite possibly be the worst Ah! My Goddess fanfiction ever discovered. I don't say this lightly: this is a few "goffic" references away from being the My Immortal of Ah! My Goddess fanworks.

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You're better off NOT opening your mind.Collapse )
 
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This is the end of part one of five of seven chapters to come.
 
Scared yet?
 
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Assignment 12: Goddess Up Above Prologue
mumi
riffingacademy
Welcome back the first team of riffing DAMSELs in a riffing of an Ah! My Goddess fanfiction in name only: Goddess Up Above.
 
RIFFING TEAM
 
INSTRUCTORS
 
Maurice “Airrider” Delmar (not joining in the riffing)
Silky Moonspinner Delmar (not joining in the riffing)
 
STUDENTS
 
DAMSEL 131 Pepper
DAMSEL 222 Vaniah
Damsel 0 Yuki
Damsel 248 Nithilian
 
Author’s Foreword: Thinking about it, I got pretty mean to one or two of these fanfics. They rubbed me the wrong way; I hope I managed to make this entertaining anyway.
Annotations are in brackets. I know these annotations might seem silly for my fellow fans of everything, but the truth of the matter is that it pays to not overestimate the cultural literacy of the reader. Enjoy.
 
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Yes, this is a whole chapter by itself. Don't let the name fool you.Collapse )

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Ah My Goddess! Goddess Up Above! The TV Series
mumi
riffingacademy

Alright, everyone, this is a fic that would've been part of the Ah! My Goddess Medley until I realized what a big, long, messy textwall it was. It is an incredibly dense megaproject spanning seven chapters and one prologue.

I'm convinced there's a fanfic somewhere in here, but I can't tell between this being an unformatted text wall or having no discernible plot, the Ah! My Goddess cast might as well be potted plants in the background, the whole show is hijacked by people I sorely wish aren't the norm in Illinois and the only real English this may be connected to is the muffin breakfast item. Just about every single original character doesn't seem to be likable from the word go, acting more like hyperactive four-year-olds than college students, bitch-and-whine mode is their only other mode other than "grab the Ritalin already" and the stupidity infects the Ah! My Goddess cast, who do nothing that they do in any iteration of the anime or manga, and are so useless to the story anyway that one wonders why they're there.

Which makes it a riffing target.


Preface

Chapter 1
Pt I
Pt II
Pt III
Pt IV
Pt V

Chapter 2
Pt I
Pt II
Pt III
Pt IV
Pt V

Chapter 3
Pt I
Pt II
Pt III
Pt IV
Pt V

Chapter 4
Pt I
Pt II
Pt III
Pt IV
Pt V

Chapter 5
Pt I
Pt II
Pt III
Pt IV
Pt V

Chapter 6
Pt I
Pt II
Pt III
Pt IV
Pt V

Chapter 7
Pt I
Pt II
Pt III
Pt IV
Pt V


Assignment 10: Velma Dinkley Goes To Hell Ch. 5
mumi
riffingacademy
This was an especially hard chapter to riff because it wouldn't throw me enough material to make rapid-fire jokes. THESE are the really hard chapters to do justice, folks, right here: it's easy to make riffings of fanfics that just ask for it, but for a fic like this that plays its cards close to its chest, you really need to think and use your riffs sparingly so you don't sound like you're just grasping desperately for punchlines.
 
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Your call is very important to us...Collapse ) 
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RIGHT. Another chapter of nothing happening. Sorry that my big, long rant/warning came to nothing for now. You'd better sit tight…we'll be in for another chapter of nothing happening, as well as a chapter full of bad religion.
 
Not evil-bad, just bad-awful.
 
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Assignment 11: Ah! My Goddess Medley Part 3
mumi
riffingacademy
The third segment is here, and is a sample of the poor writing that will be seen in the real meat of the Medley, and what eventually classifies the Ah! My Goddess Medley as a Riffing Academy megaproject. More on that when I get to it.
 
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Now With 5% More Underlines!Collapse )
 
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This was all prior to finding the real meat of the medley assignment: an Ah! My Goddess badfic that flew under the radar and turned into an Ah! My Goddess megaproject.
 
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Assignment 11: Ah! My Goddess Medley Part 2
mumi
riffingacademy
The next segment of the Medley (which is surprisingly long, actually. Maybe given everything I'm doing, this is a third megaproject?
 
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This Probably Wasn't In The Bible...Collapse )
 
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The next part is a mercifully-short story that throws characters together in one of those hasty crossovers that sounds like just the idea and isn't anything else.
 
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